Few years back when I was preparing for my public administrative services, I reached ahead of time for my classes and realised there was enough time for my batch so I used to spend my spare time for a crossword aficionado in my best-loved cafeteria. During those days I was a CCD lover. So after parking my car, I stopped by there and was just waiting for my order. Suddenly I saw some figures sitting just adjacent to me …. they were making heart-to-heart melancholy talks. I guess they were in there twenties. Two of them were married as the way they were narrating their after marriage life changing progress report was testimony to the above fact while the third one partook the role of their close confidante.
They were chitter-chattering all their way about their compromises, unsettling quarrels from kinfolks, responsibilities to share, expectations, managing paroxysms of kids, handling better half jitters, their own struggles etc. In short a “tale of woe” recitation. And then suddenly an eye-opener revelation made by one of them, “Look at me how I used to be before and now am completely lost, tenanted by blue devils, I have no time for myself and look at this body which receives honeyed words from all over the tribe.
Now what is the fun of telling you this story ? Right, as I also sensed the same while scribbling it but found it funny …. No rather seriously that this is just one example that how we ruined our whole lives and then lamenting our own modelled fuss by reproaching others.
How? O.k then be true to yourselves for further probing. Tell me how many women’s actually made any me time for themselves or do you remember when was the last time you cooked your favourite meal or ever racked your brain that there is a life apart from kids, husband or kinsfolk and more importantly when did the last time you take care of yourself???….. You won’t believe when I hearken the low spirited comments of an upskill women that “Now I have spend half of life in this shit now the rest of the life shall too pass” and some dyed in the wool conservative creatures who continue to insist, “Aurat hona bi kahan aasan hai bahut se khwaab dil mein hi dafnane padte hain”. I can give so many relatable silly notions on the same which distress me deep inside that why women live their lives in hopelessness and seriously it is a grief-stricken notion for all the women who were brought up to believe that self-sacrifice is the highest female virtue.
Despite am a very firm believer that women need genuine moments of solitude and self- reflection to acknowledge herself first, prioritise her health because nobody actually sympathise her the way she empathise the whole world without parading the effects of those havoc hormonal rush she inherited with which uphold her life beginning from the adolescence to elderly.
See here am not publicising the anecdote on feminine sacrifices as there is no comparison nor I am a gender biased. I strongly believe that men’s equally have a lot of responsibilities which are so challenging on their part too but I am against to the patriarchal approach concept by muttering what the actress Alia Bhatt reiterated its brands message “Why do boys have all the fun”🤩……
So ladies if you’re still reading this then please make certain self analysis and work to improve yourself as you don’t need to prove any shit to anyone about your capabilities, what to do or what not and be selflessly real you- somewhat weird, many times intelligent, witty, funny, adventurous, crazy etc as there are jam-packed of other things which make you delighted. Be your own definition of amazing.
I can sense even now it is not very convincing and myriads of you are murmuring it’s not easy in our culture or the part of life am dealing with so many responsibilities. Somehow I agree with you but that doesn’t mean that you don’t want to give a try to adore yourself for your own sake or are you still deadlocked with a situation what others will think if I made certain self love commitments to myself.
Think for a while if you take care of your self, accentuate your likes-dislikes or your hobbies a bit, you start feeling more lively and balanced, hence you happy = everyone happy? No this equation never exists you can’t make everyone happy my friend but yeah at the cost of your sufferings you can. So the equation of your life should rely on your happiness = your growth because then you will be more centred to dealt any unpleasant situation.
Some self caring rituals:
- Give yourself a permission to relax and ease down from your daily routine work.
- Don’t forget to focus on the good, be obsessively grateful for what you have and be happy in the anticipation of what’s coming to you.
- Do something you love which makes you delightful like reading, writing, dreaming, singing, dancing, painting etc..just for you.
- Accept yourself who are you now, the past is just over.
- Step outside for some fresh air or engage in some short mindfulness breathing exercise or a walk or a run… do what you feel like.
- Listen to a podcast or a song or watch the movie that makes you happy. What about this..treat yourself with your favourite food.
- Get a good sleep and keep away from your phones for couple of hours.
- Set some boundaries, ask for what you need, put yourself first sometimes, ask for help and try to say no with no guilt. Trust your instincts.
- Try to realise the expectations of perfectionism.
- You can’t control other people feelings, their words, their actions better manage your thoughts and work on yourself.
- Eat healthy home-made nutritious diet with surplus amounts of vitamins and essential fats and remain hydrated.
- Upgrade your circle by spending time with people you love, practice mindfulness.
- Feed yourself with love even without anyone and be optimistic by greeting all kind of emotions with confidence that allows us to learn from our own mistakes.
So get up and embark the new journey by falling in love again with yourself. Cmon bring out that notorious radiant inner child buried somewhere inside you in a hurry to become a discreet perfectionist creature. Let’s together learn the Art of growing without loosing our inner child.
Lastly, as I always say it’s not selfish to love yourself or to take care of yourself or making your happiness a priority. It is actually necessary because once you start loving yourself everything falls in line and if you nourish yourself in this way it will definitely help you blossom in the direction you want to go because “Zindagi na milegi dobara” and you only live once.
Healthy Talks 